Unusual day today; C has issues with a poorly son, M has issues with punctuality and would you believe it; oversleeping! And to top it all N has issues with Mrs N, taking Misty to the horses and thus leaving just myself and N to walk the woods without the dog, and  in a way it enabled us to get back in the groove of managing the pedestrian traffic through said woods; today there was none, which is a trend I would like to encourage and see repeated every morning. Its hard enough just coordinating and getting the ministry together without other riff-raff to police. There may well come a time when we have to taser folk, if nature lovers become too rampant, well you only have to look at what happens to car parks in well known beauty spots around the Cotswolds these days. Dirty Bastards!

Well, it’s happening, there are these little Star Wars folks all over the woods, my son has a whole load of them scattered liberally amongst the lego. I think I have to admit that when I first saw these figures at Smyths (This is a toy shop Americans, or any other nationalities who may not know, such as Australians; Hey I expect you’ve heard of Smith given recent events) Anyway theres plenty more, i’ve got 5 left before I have to plunge back into the angular plastic sea. So getting back to admitting, I really loved them because they could be lost totally without leaving detritus behind; a rifle, light sabre, cape, etc, helmet, they all loose their helmets and hats in lego world.

The wild primrose, which seems to be making a comeback, having said that I’m not altogether sure it was there in the first place, its great to see it in increasing abundance. Also the Wooden Enemy, which has finally started to flower, we usually expect carpets of the stuff at this time but the dirty freezing weather has put pay to that for the moment, given a damp but sunny weekend this Easter holiday and the washing powder white flowers with yellow mouths will thrive. Everyone knows what comes next…

And then the Axe Tree; half axe, half tree. Not really sure why this axe head is here, and in all the years I have lived here and been aware of the axe tree I reckon I’ve touched it a handful of times, more than C touching the frog spawn but even so. Which reminds me, we will have a frog spawn update next week as I am away this weekend, burglars please stay away from the installations. I do sometimes feel like a Chris Packham type fellow, guiding you all through the woodland springtime with the added bonus of some lunatics acting as mere bit players in the play we call The Daily Grind.

N bought me some safety goggles to protect my eyes from the marauding tiles I’m expecting to fight against with when they attack me when I attack the bathroom walls tomorrow. Who knows if you all behave yourselves I will show you the desolation which used to be my bathroom. The victorian bath with brass look (like leatherette but in the brass equivalent) claw feet is now resting in N’s field as a place for the horses to brush their teeth and wash their feet before dinner.

Today at work I found my self on National Piano Day which was concieved by Nils Frahm 3 years ago on the 88th day of the year because the piano has 88 keys. That my friends is an:

Undisputed Fact of the Day

Anyway this was the case and according to my sat nav I was heading down Killhorse (one word which I thought was a bit peculiar) Lane heading towards Goggin via Wooferton, check them out, I was in Hereford it’s all a bit odd there. Anyway, I met the Baron at his hall and the chap was wearing pink cords, which, if you are reading Bagsy, I know you will appreciate. The chap beckoned me follow his battered Skoda about a mile down a dirt track to a wonderful semi renovated, semi deserted cottage sandwiched between the woods and a stream. It was not possible to see any houses from the cottage, it was wonderfully lonely, comfortable in its seclusion. I had to check the property boundaries and always tell the client it will take a while and its not really a spectator sport, what I do, and so He’d be better off doing something more productive. They go and I enjoy the peace, usually by having a wee as the morning teas and 1 coffee have usually made their way down to the exit sign by this time.

I took some photos, tragically, with the cottage being amazingly alone aside from the forest adjacent, the Baron told me some forest activity company wants to build 200 cabins, zip wires, a pub and restaurant, as well as all the other stuff that comes with a rip off centre parks like place right over the fence of Old J****** Cottage (name redacted for reasons unknown)

Hopefully the Forest company will Fuck off, and leave this wonderful corner of  Herefordshire alone, the Baron added if I could help prevent this situation, I may well be given the freedom of Pipe Aston; I’ve checked and that means free pints for the rest of my life, if I can find the bloody place again!

Later on in the day I spoke to M asking him where he was this morning; we ended up talking about the list of things to do which I have and which seems to be growing at an alarming rate according to the situation at hand. M asked me if it was my “Bucket List” and through no fault of M’s I hit back rather forcefully empathising that my list is “my list of things to do”,  it always has and it always will. It will never be a bucket list, I’m not going to call it so in order to be pigeon holed, its just my fucking list. All you bucket listers can think about what you are calling it and ask yourself if it’s always been so; if it has always been so then so be it, it’s a bucket list. However, if it’s your special list then keep it that way, and don’t let anyone tell you not so.

Bucket list is an anagram of El Sick Butt, think about that when you’re thinking about swimming with dolphins.