A-Z Challenge; My Theme; Adoption. The Letter N

A-Z Challenge 2018

Nature/ Nurture


So which is it? Buggered if I know, if my adoption has taught me anything it’s made me realise that I have to expect the unexpected, at all times. I studied Biology at school during my A’levels, well Social Biology, which was Biology with out the plants. This suited me very well as I found plants really hard to understand and honestly I wasn’t especially interested how they reproduced; I suspected seeds, and I still think I’m on the right lines. Lets be honest; I’m definitely no scientist but I do prefer living things which can move on their own, which can wave their arms, tentacles, feelers, legs in the air independent of the wind.

So Social Biology was Biology with the animal bits, the dissection bits, the sexy human bits, the breeding of fruit flies bits, the genetics bits. Why I have blue eyes and why my folks have brown, is it possible for me to have blue eyes if my folks have brown (yes it is, thats “an unquestionable fact of the day” which is part of my daily blog). So had I not known I was adopted I could have accepted the eye conundrum, I could probably accept the curly hair of my folks against the straight hair of my own. Having kids of my own I could also see that skin colour and tone can be different from my own. The whole thing, as far as I can recall (A’levels were nearly 30 years ago, so I could be a bit rusty) is to do with genetics, natural selection, the survival of the fittest, ultimately evolution.

Evolution fascinates me, I was lucky to have at the most splendid teacher, a Doctor Owen, who spent some time out in Africa with Jane Goodall studying the chimps. A truly inspirational chap who made the subject sing for me. He instructed me in natural selection and then evolution due to genetic mutation but also told me of natural selection triggered by the need of a species to adapt to their surroundings. The question of how and why we do certain things similar to our parents, the way we may act could be attributed to living with our parents and learning from them, copying them because we want to be similar to them.

One day something happened to me which freaked me out and astonished me in equal measure, I don’t care why it happened, but I love that it did.

It was my Biodad’s 60th birthday and I had only known him and indeed the rest of my new Biofamily for a very short time. He was having a party and my family and I were invited and asked to stay over at Mick’s house. He had loads of his mates coming and I’m sure they wanted to have a look at the poor orphan, see how he turned out! I did feel slightly as though the eyes of the room were upon me but everyone was so friendly and generous and soon the party was in full swing. We all had far too much to drink as there was a barrel of real ale there not to mention countless bottles of wine, spirits, lager, cider, you name it my Biodad had a fondness for the stuff! As the evening turned to night and night to early morning one by one people peeled off and went home, we went to bed and agreed to see each other in the morning; we could go over the previous nights events over coffee and bacon sandwiches.

I’m an early riser, I can’t help it I like the mornings and don’t like to miss too much of them. So I was first down, I couldn’t find the coffee but the tea was easy to locate and as I leant against the work tops I chuckled to my self in disbelief was what was and had been happening to me over these last months and years in searching and finding the Biofamily! Steps came down from upstairs and Biodad made his way into the kitchen, I made him a cup of tea and we chatted about the night before, about my family, about his, about his fondness for cars and music and my fondness for cricket and music. All the while the conversation was effortless and free flowing and then suddenly I noticed that both him and I were standing in the exact same way to each other, mirrored across the tiles of the kitchen, as I took more notice I began to notice that we could not shake our selves out of this depiction of each others gait and stance. Without realising I was standing exactly as my Biodad, and adding to this I was using similar bodily movements and actions to him. This continued and was only broken when Mrs T came down for tea and I could escape to sit down. It really freaked me out as I sat there drinking my third cup of tea, a really weird sensation.

On the way home Mrs T and i were discussing this phenomenon and I found it really funny, that without knowing this man maybe a month or so before, now suddenly I was exhibiting exactly the same mannerisms as himself.

I have continued to monitor the situation whenever I see Mick and much to my amusement we do continue to unconsciously mimic each other. Am I predisposed to have similar actions to my Biodad, is this sort of information passed down genetically? Who knows, who cares,  I know is I like it and long may it continue!


  1. Last I’ve heard it’s the empathy that makes us mimic other people. We want to be perceived as trustworthy, engaged and friendly. We form a quicker bond with someone who appears similar to us.

    Very interesting phenomenon you described there for sure.


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