June 20th 2018


In an effort to maintain the spark and excitement within a partnership one must put oneself out a bit, to do something truly amazing and out of character. One must surprise ones partner. With this in mind, today was coffee and cook Wednesday at the house of M, it’s a new “thing” and may have a future.

M is a slight enigma to us all, just when you think you’ve sussed him out, he throws in a curve ball and surprises us all, this is why the ministry remains fresh; we are completely confused from one day to the next by M’s sometimes incoherent warbling! But the good news is he makes us all laugh, so keep on keeping on M.

Excitement on the path into the woods today as M saw a snake, or so he thought, and was straight into the grass fingering about, hoping it wasn’t an adder or even a subtractor or multiplier, dividers are benign i’ve heard; ooh lets share it all. The snake was not seen and later on, possibly to appease C, the sighting was changed to it possibly being a stick which sounds like a very MI5 type excuse. M told us, and this may well be a fact of the day but not specifically relating to us humans, in reality this is true for squirrels rather than us, but apparently the squirrel, when pursued by a rattlesnake is inclined to fart to confuse the predator, the snake has poor eyesight and massive farts mangle the serpent’s brain. Hooray for the squirrel and its flatulence!

We also dealt with an Easyjet complaint from M but it took so long to discuss several or maybe all of us zoned out at some point or another, suffice to say the story ended out with a happy ending much like a kerb crawler at a massage parlour.

And so to the Wednesday morning Coffee and cook which is a new feature and may or may not be continued depending on the resulting activities thereof. We walked back to M’s house, rushing to get the kettle on, to get the curry ingredients out (previously bought yesterday) and to get prepping the constituents of the Lemony Coriander Curry , its a Madhur Jaffrey recipe so theres obviously not going to be any issues, plus, I cooked it last night to test it out, seeing if maybe there may have been any aphrodisiacal properties or consequences. Chicken chopped, fried. Ginger turned into a paste, garlic and chilli and coriander all chopped into tiny little bits, all without the aid of a blender or electrical device (I love chopping with knives, it keeps me off the mean streets of Worcester, thats where the prey is). fullsizeoutput_1404

I’m a big believer of when cooking, and I love to do it, the preparation is incredibly important. I’m not going to start some kind of cooking arm of this blog by telling you to separate the ingredients into separate receptacles until they are all ready and then follow the recipe given because that would be patronising to my readers and I am going to assume (which makes an Ass out of U and Me) that everybody does that anyway, right? So there were a few bowls of ingredients, prepared and ready for action. Then came the spices; 1/4 table spoon of cayenne pepper, 2 tablespoons of turmeric, etc you get the picture. The first to go in, with N sat on the stool overseeing it all while I gave verbal instructions to M, was the 1/4 tablespoon of cayenne. He dumped it into the little bowl (it’s got a proper name which escapes me) then he sniffed the spoon, yes ladies and gents, M sniffed the rest of the Cayenne up! the next thing I know he’s under the tap scooping cold water up his nose, he’s waterboarding himself. I’ve never seen that done before and it made me laugh muchly, the massive idiot! The good news is that M said he’s not going to do that again.

The cooking thence forth went very well and the trainers were out of there about 10 minutes later than usual Coffee time, If anyone from my company is reading this then it’s all lies and I start work at 6am every morning, otherwise forget I ever mentioned it.


In the past I have sniffed Gin, Tequila, Snuff and assorted other powders including sherbet, but never Cayenne. More power to you Mr M!

In recognition I will give this tune to you, listen if you can my transcontinental cousins.

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