Eeew; Theme parks


Probably a few nights ago we were sat on our outdoor furniture enjoying a few beers or wines with the kids, we weren’t drinking with the kids, we were drinking and they were there, they are far too precocious ro think that drinking would be a good idea, they’ve seen us, well probably me acting the oaf too many times, a happy drunk, not an angry drunk. Any way out of the blue Mrs T asks them if they’d like to go to Alton Towers, almost as a involuntary mouth fart, the seed was planted and immediately grew to Knotweed proportions, spreading like the virus we are trying so hard to avoid, face masks, washing hands, social distancing. These last few days we’ve had face masks delivered, were fashioned up to the max and will hopefully encourage mouthward stares.

I really hate theme parks, the rides specifically, the queuing for hours to go on something I am utterly terrified by, i’ll bottle it, but fortunately our great mates will be there too, with their boys, so our kids can police each other while we loiter drinking awful coffee and eating our ham salad baguette. Or throwing 2p coins into those drawer arcade games with the prospect of winning more 2p’s. A way to ultimately convert the coins you want to get rid of into more coins you want to get rid of if you’re unlucky. I’ll probably be ok on a ghost train, or maybe a lazy river if I find one, but any mention of going into a black hole in space or twisting down some worm hole and i’m running a mile.

OIts an early start, it’ll be a late finish and Saturday can not come soon enough, signed Grumpy bastard from Shrawley.


  1. I hope you had fun. This made me laugh

    “almost as a involuntary mouth fart, the seed was planted and immediately grew to Knotweed proportions”

    Thanks for joining in 😀


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