A Slap and a Kick for Being so Quick…

Several notes and dispatches from the frontline today, admin and points of order; Good news in the main, which is a change for the better, its because I’m not watching or listening to the news.

Firstly and most momentously I have completed 1000 miles so far in my leisure time this year, not including pottering around on building sites and hillsides at work. That was the plan, over 1000 miles in a year which equates to about 3 miles a day with a fair few off for Covid and weekends, (remember Covid?)

Secondly my youngest cooked his first “Fireplace” curry today. He’s doing cookery GCSE (I know, bonkers right?) and  he scored a perfect 9 out of 10. 10’s don’t exist in subjective subjects, but he bloody loved it, under the fine tutoring of yours truly and instructions which began 

“Pour yourself a drink, this is thirsty work” So well done him.

Thirdly my Daughter scored a 22/25 in her first proper Criminology degree assignment, all the way up in Manchester which is proper North, rather than North Clifton Upon Teme which is where I am, but we are nearer the sun, so phone reception is infinitely better here, I was taught all the wonders of science from a magazine I found in a dentists waiting room.

Fourthly I spent time in the Mac shop with some Geniuses who couldn’t fix the laptop after a short time in the mysterious workshop whose entrance has no door handles, very sleek entrance like the Hoff on Oscars night or Linda Lusardi’s vagina, Tastes like caramel said That bloke from That awful DIY programme where one gets to vomit over your neighbours walls when they perform a dirty protest on your own. Its not even good telly, it breeds hatred and envy. Turns out there’s water damage, so accidental damage, and therefore could be an insurance claim on the cards, I’ve even got a Mac sick note, its too old to fix too and they can’t source all the parts. I pay my bloody premiums and don’t you forget it…

Fifthly The England Cricket team scored 500 runs on the first day of a test match, I’ll just let that one sit for a bit. 4 centurions too, I’ll bet by the time I wake up Stokes will have his hundred too.

Finally, Hi to my long suffering Mrs T who is having to put up with me getting back into this blogging thang once more. Don’t worry next year I’ll write my best seller and we can retire to the mountains of Spain and maybe the beaches of Greece. Love you, if you’re reading it, and if you’re not.

No news about my boss from my end of things but my colleague in another region told me he is still a massive Knob Jockey, if you want to know.




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