Grow up and Look up Neighbour.

Having entered a zen like state regarding the work I do and the company that keeps me, I will now refer to the company I keep and the antizen that certain folk down my road seem to have found them selves in. A bit of a Tizz I think I could say, and the apparent lack of wanting to engage with me, what fools. So I’ve been thinking about this for a while; i’m not overlyu bothered as the folk who are suddenly ignoring me are ignorant ignoramuses, but as an incomplete anthropologist I wanted to get to the bottom of such things and find the origin of this mistrust, this deception which I might or might not have perpetrated. A mystery, as to why the neighbour with the face like a bulldog who swallowed a wasp, since I fell out of favour with her.

One moment we’re all fine, she’s drinking wine in my garden, he’s drinking cheap lager like its going out of fashion or like I’m going to take it away from him. A word to the wise, you can keep your Carling and shove it up your arse, and I will judge you for it, christ have you no shame. Anyway, at another juncture I was obviously talking to another neighbour and jokingly offered the end of the estate we live at be called the posh end, because we’ve got a view over the fields, nothing more. The “weather beaten end” would be more apt, our seat cover and BBQ covers have been wrecked by the bastard wind which relentlessly batters our house, no wonder theres no fucking trees here at the snow line. So I created a Whats App group which I called “The Posh End” and just 2 weeks ago another neighbour mentioned that the reason sour face has fallen out with me is because she’s either

a) Not in the group or b) objects to not being in the group because she is really posh or c) both reasons and more its tricky to get into the mind of someone like that who sees conflict where there really isn’t. It comers to the crunch when someone takes a personal aversion to you because she’s not in the group. The reason she’s not in it originally is because I dont have her number, and the reason I don’t have her number is because I really don’t think that her and her husband are particularly nice, they’ve got an edge. Ex coppers, drug squad, and they probably see me as a threat to their peaceful continued existance. Well restassured dear readers, this will not happen as I am now an upstanding pillar of the community totally perpendicular in my outlook and ethics.

They won’t read this, because I imaginer they only read books about SAS or army shit, and they’re far too busy looking down their nose to notice the bigger skies. Don’t be such a bloody Baby, and tell your husband to stop tucking his T-shirt into his beige active wear cargo pants.

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